Labratory Talk

Some time ago I had a dream where I was living in a large old house. The house was located in a small village by the main road and the villagers frequently came by to look at the house. The house was open for public because of its architecture etc. I had my own modern appartment upstairs, but nobody ever went there.

The dream started as a lot of people from the village had come to look at the house. Downstairs had a large library room and behind that an old labratory. The labratory had been out of use for years and no one had taken care of it. It was a mess and quite dirty as well. The labratory was a main interest amongst the visiting people. They hardly looked at the library, everyone was gathered at the labratory walking around, investigating. I think they were looking for something. Possibly there was a rumour that something had been hidden in there.

I was standing in the library looking at the people. I didn't want to go into the labratory, I never went there. I didn't believe in the rumours and couldn't understand what was so interesting about it anyway. It was just an old ugly room to me. I wanted to leave it alone. The behaviour of the people annoyed me. There was an entire beautiful library and whole house to look at and they gave all their attention to the labratory!

Now then...I've read that a house is the most common symbol of the self in dreams. That comes as no surprise to me. I often feel like this dream in real life. People think that they don't really know me until I've shared my deepest and darkest secrets with them. At the same time I'm worried that after they see the labratory, that is all they ever see. The way I see it, my painful parts are just a small part of me. The majority is like the library: beautiful and much more interesting. The good parts are what makes me me, I don't wish to be defined through my bad life experiences.

Isn't it funny how a deep and meaningful conversation usually means sharing your dissappointments and problems and sad stories? Why should it be any less deep and meaningful to share the good and the beautiful? This is not to say that our labratories aren't important and that we shouldn't talk about them. Let's just not forget that they are not everything. Don't let them be more than they are.

"I like it"

I have been in my new job for 5 months now. I just returned from a New Year's trip to Lapland with about 60 students and young adults. We had fun!

During these past 5 months a lot of people have come to me asking how I like my job. Do I enjoy it? I never really know quite what to tell them. I usually end up just saying that yes, I do like my job.

To me, this seems like the wrong question. Whether I like my job or not is unimportant. This is not a matter of my personal enjoyment. Yes, I like my job. But I also liked my previous job as a social worker. The job was interesting and challenging and I liked my co-workers. I even got a bigger pay check than I do now!

What matters to me is the peace I have. The peace I didn't have before. As a social worker I was always restless. I always felt like I was in the wrong place wasting my life. Now I feel like I'm in the right place and I can just concentrate on my work. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, whether I like it or not. And because my God is good, I also happen to enjoy it:)

I hope this is clear to everyone now.